Mother of the Bride
| Published: 28th December 2007 17:40 |
Your daughter has finally found the man of her dreams. You’re ecstatic, of course, but the butterflies have already started. Never mind her dress, what on earth will you wear and how will you get everything arranged on time?
Traditionally this is your chance to shine (or not) as a hostess. But have things changed? Exactly what role does a modern-day mother of the bride play? Do you just turn up on the day and smile? Or are you in for the months of planning and preparation?
What does a modern mother of the bride do?
If you’re playing by the traditional rules(and plenty do)the answer is: a lot. Traditionally, the bride’s mother:
*Helps finalise the guest list (degree in diplomacy preferable)
*Orders the stationery (invitations, menus, order of service, place cards)
*Sends out the invitations and monitors replies
*Supplies copies of the gift list request
*Arranges and books the reception (liaising constantly with the couple, if your life is worth living)
*Hires the cars
*Organises the flowers for the church, reception and the bride’s bouquet
*Books the photographer (avoiding control freaks who’ll take over)
*Draws up the seating plan (again and again)
*Generally acts as the official hostess with the most-est
But nowadays, you don’t do it all on your own. Modern mums of the bride listen to the couple’s views and don’t interfere if their daughter insists on doing everything herself and the groom’s parents may also get involved in the organising.
Laying the ground rules
As soon as your daughter and her fiancé have set a date, sit down with them and discuss how you could be involved in and contribute to their wedding. By talking this through at the beginning, you’ll avoid arguments later when stress and time pressure come into play.
Try not to be upset if the couple insist on doing everything themselves. One of two things will doubtless happen. Either:
They will soon run out of steam/time/funds/patience and come running to you to take over
or
They will organise everything their way, be radiantly happy on their day and you'll be saved from one of the most stressful experiences known to (wo)man (i.e. planning a wedding) ...
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