All Hush and No Play makes for unhappy families
| Author: Irene Robertson | Published: 14th May 2007 21:31 |
All Hush and No Play Makes for Unhappy Families
In the largest study of its kind, research released, by kids television channel Jetix into sibling family dynamics reveals children have stronger relationships than their parents ever did with their siblings. What's more, the rise of new family structures (such as step families and half siblings) is having a positive impact on British family life.
The detailed study - a UK first into the dynamics of sibling rivalry - interviewed over 1,400 parents and nearly 2,000 children. The research was commissioned for the channel's new animated comedy, Yin Yang Yo! about two siblings who despite their differences, come together to overcome adversity, in a fun way.
Created in conjunction with Dr Dorothy Einon, Child Psychologist and Lecturer at University College London, the Jetix survey also helps parents pinpoint the age of likely sibling rivalry in their families:
- 2 children in the family, 10 is the peak age for sibling rivalry
- 3 children in the family, 11 is the peak age for sibling rivalry
- 4 children in the family, 11.5 is the peak age for sibling rivalry
Dr Einon comments, "Children are territorial and as the family size increases, the oldest feels the need to vie for attention, protect both their property and personal space." She adds, "Instead of parents worrying about sibling rivalry, they need to realise it's a healthy part for the development of their children. By honing their social skills through interactions with their siblings young and old, they learn how to compromise... and it can even be fun."
In UK families, kids on average engage in sibling rivalry once a day. Unsurprisingly, as the family size increases so does the amount of sibling rivalry, with 34% of families with five or more kids arguing three times or more a day.
"Children are born not knowing how to interact with others and they learn their social skills from their parents and older siblings", explains Dr. Dorothy Einon "As their social skills develop, the squabbling increases as they learn the importance of getting what they want without being taken advantage of. To succeed in life, they need practise and larger families give children this advantage."
60% of parents think their kids get on better with their siblings than they did with their own. Dads feel there is less rivalry (62%) because of ‘more distractions', such as video games, consoles and better toys. Dads are also more concerned that their behaviour influences their kids more than mums. When asked "do you think your behaviour towards your own siblings influences the way your children interact with theirs?", 46% of mums said no, compared with just 33% of dads.
"This reflects the traditional roles of parents." says Dr Einon, "When it comes to hands on parenting, Mums do most of the caring whilst dads spend more time playing with their children. So when dads say ‘children have more distractions' they are stating the indisputable fact that dads today play more with their children than their fathers did with them."
39% of parents claim they do a better job than their own parents by ‘spreading affection' equally amongst their children. Parents criticism of their own up-bringing continues with 20% claiming that they still don't speak to their own siblings because of ‘jealously and competitiveness' stemming from bad parenting. A further 24% stated that a severe clash of personalities kept them from bonding with their brothers and sisters. When comparing estranged family relationships, 67% of dads are more worried about their children picking up on historic sibling tension whilst 46% of mums said they were not concerned.
With over a quarter of British kids claiming to spend time with their siblings by helping them with their homework, 76% still manage to blame their siblings as the instigators of all arguments (although some parents maybe surprised when they hear just 50% of kids say they only argue twice a week!).
Dr Dorothy Einon explains, "In the past, families were large enough for the oldest child to be grown up by the time the youngest was born. There was a blending of generations and learning. Ironically, as our families become more complex with siblings, step-siblings and half siblings we are moving to a new version of the old model."
Boel Ferguson, Managing Director, Jetix UK, comments: "Sibling rivalry is alive and kicking, but the complex relationship between brothers and sisters can be portrayed through comedy and laughter, as light-hearted Yin Yang Yo! does. Yin and Yang may be competitive, but like all siblings they care for and love each other, uniting to overcome any challenge. "
