Pass the moving in test
| Published: 26th May 2008 10:44 |
Moving into a new phase - setting up home together can really test a relationship.
Relationships are made up of constant tests that reveal whether or not two people are right for one another. And one of those tests is undoubtedly moving in together.
Whether or not the time is right, there are always a few pointers to keep in mind when taking this decision, as this step in the relationship can make or break it.
The problem with sharing a home with your loved one is that the event might be premature and simply triggered by a coincidental turn of events. A good example might be that both of you were planning to move out of your parents' houses and decided to move in together to share the cost of living.
The main issue here is that couples should move in together as a natural transition in a relationship. Finances should not be the basis of the decision for such an important step.
Often, a man and woman may decide to settle down together because they see it as the natural next step in their relationship. But the problem is that they may not be ready for it. Unfortunately, a couple will only realise they moved too fast when it's too late.
The important thing to remember is that when you and your lover co-habit, you will ultimately see all the aspects of each other's personal life - not just the pretty side.
You will be privy to all of his or her behavioural ups and downs, day in and day out. And often, when sex is on tap, it no longer remains unattainable and, thus, becomes less desirable.
On the brighter side of things, this step into long-term companionship might actually bring the two of you closer together. This can be the launch pad to solidify a relationship. A man and woman may be fearful of spending every minute of their lives with each other, especially if they were used to simply seeing each other every other day or so. But to many couples' surprise, this living situation turns out to be great. If each other's bathroom routines don't come as too much of a surprise - and don't disgust you - then both of you could be on the road to something good.
A simple checklist can help the unprepared make the most of moving in together.
Make it your own place. Remember that the furniture and design of the place should be a joint decision.
Don't reveal everything at once. The idea here is for both of you to become comfortable with each other at a gradual pace. It is not wise to show each other all of your good and bad qualities at once. This might unnecessarily scare the other away, or worse, repulse them.
Respect each other's space. Just because the two of you are living under the same roof, it doesn't mean every second of every minute needs to be spent together. Rather, find some personal places each of you can revert back to for some quiet time.
Share the responsibility. Alternate the housework tasks, rather than splitting them up, so both of you get your hands dirty. This will, in turn, allow both of you to put equal amounts of effort into the whole task of cleaning up.
Most importantly, follow your instincts and have the best of times together.
