How do I...? Your questions answered
| Published: 24th August 2007 16:37 |
HOW DO I.....???
...Get a child passport?
Rules are that all children must now have their own passport. There are two ways you can get hold of the application pack
- Pick up a pack from your local Post Office.
- Call the Identity & Passport Service (IPS) on 0870-521 0410.
Once you've completed the form you'll have to send this off along with your child's ORIGINAL birth certificate (so ensure you send this by registered post) and two identical close-up photos of your child's head and shoulders. Pictures need to be taken against a cream or white background, must be a high resolutuion and 45mm by 35mm. If you're struggling to take your baby's picture you might want to leave it to the expert and most photographic shops offer this service.
The passport will be valid for 5 years and costs £45. You can opt for a one week fast-track service at the passport office but this will cost £80, so if you're going on holiday ensure that you apply in plenty of time as it can usually take around 3 weeks to process.
...Get a seat on the train when I'm pregnant and commuting?!
It's awful when you're commuting on a regular basis and you're pregnant. Although there are those kind souls that are willing to offer their seat to you at the drop of a hat, those people are few and far between. Most commuters (men and women!) just pretend not to notice your bump and bury their heads in their papers. If you're all for asking out loud if anyone would give up thier seat to a highly uncomfortable standing passenger, that's great but if you'd rather suffer in silence than deal with the stares, here's another way to consider.
Southeastern monthly or longer season ticket customers who are 20 weeks into their pregnancy can apply for authorisation to sit in First Class if there are no seats left in Standard class. This is offered as a courtesy to mums-to-be but the train company cannot guarantee that there will always be a seat available.
To apply, send a copy of your MAT B1 form, or a signed letter from your GP or midwife which confirms pregnancy and the date the baby is due. We also need a photocopy of your current monthly or longer season ticket and your photocard, along with your name, address and daytime telephone number. Send these to:
Southeastern Customer Services
PO Box 286
Plymouth
PL4 6WU
...Know how much sleep my child needs?
Of course, every child is different - some need more sleep or less sleep than others and it depends on how active your children are on a day-to-day basis, if they are unwell...etc. As a general rule of thumb here is how much sleep your child should be getting.
Age | Nightime Sleep | Daytime Sleep | Total hours sleep |
1 month | 8 ½ hours | 7 hours (across approx 3 naps) | 15 ½ hours
|
3 months | 10 | 5 hours (across approx 3 naps) | 15 |
6 months | 11 | 3 ½ hours (across approx 2 sleeps) | 14 ½
|
9 months | 11 | 3 hours (across approx 2 naps) | 14 |
1 year | 11 ½ | 2 ½ hours (across approx 2 naps) | 13 ½
|
18 months | 11 ½ | 2 ½ hours (across 1 nap) | 13 ½
|
2 years | 11 | 2 hours (across 1 nap) | 13 |
3 years | 10 ½ | 1 ½ hours (across 1 nap)
| 12 |
...Keep a a marriage / partnership alive when I've got children?
Is your marriage everything you ever hoped it could be? Or has it been pushed down your list of priorities since having children? Let's face it, parenthood is a full-time job, and it dramatically changes your marriage relationship. But marriage is the foundation upon which your entire family is structured.If your marriage is strong, your whole family will be strong; your life will be more peaceful, you'll be a better parent, and you'll, quite simply, have more fun in your life. Here's 8 top tips to making it work...
1. Make a commitment To create or maintain a strong marriage you will have to take the first critical step: You must be willing to put time, effort and thought into nurturing your marriage. A wonderful thing may happen. You may fall in love with your spouse all over again. In addition, your children will greatly benefit from your stronger relationship. Children feel secure when they know that mum and dad love each other-particularly in today's world, where 50% of marriages end in divorce; half of your children's friends have gone, or are going through a divorce; or maybe it's your kids who have survived a divorce and are now living in a new family arrangement. Your children need daily proof that their family life is stable and predictable
. When you make a commitment to your marriage, your children will feel the difference. No, they won't suffer from neglect! They'll blossom when your marriage-and their homelife-is thriving. The surprising secret is that this doesn't have to take any extra time in your already busy schedule. Just a change in attitude plus a committed focus can yield a stronger, happier marriage.
So here's my challenge to you. Read the following suggestions and apply them in your marriage for the next 30 days. Then evaluate your marriage. I guarantee you'll both be happier.
2. Look for the good,overlook the bad You married this person for many good reasons. Your partner has many wonderful qualities. Your first step in adding sizzle to your marriage is to look for the good and overlook the bad. Make it a habit to ignore the little annoying things - dirty socks on the floor, a day-old coffee cup on the counter, worn out flannel pajamas, an inelegant burp at the dinner table - and choose instead to search for those things that make you smile: the way he rolls on the floor with the baby; the fact that she made your favourite treat, the peace in knowing someone so well that you can wear your worn out flannels or burp at the table.
3. Give two compliments every day Now that you've committed to seeing the good in your partner, it's time to say it! This is a golden key to your mate's heart. Our world is so full of negative input, and we so rarely get compliments from other people. When we do get a compliment, it not only makes us feel great about ourselves, it actually makes us feel great about the person giving the compliment! Think about it! When your partner says, "You're the best. I'm so glad I married you." It not only makes you feel loved, it makes you feel more loving. Compliments are easy to give, take such a little bit of time, and they're free. Anything works: "Dinner was great, you make my favorite sauce." "Thanks for picking up the cleaning. It was very thoughtful, you saved me a trip." "That sweater looks great on you."
4. Play nice That may sound funny to you, but think about it. How many times do you see -- or experience -- partners treating each other in impolite, harsh ways that they'd never even treat a friend? Sometimes we take our partners for granted and unintentionally display rudeness. As the saying goes, if you have a choice between being right and being nice, just choose to be nice.
5. Pick your battles How often have you heard this advice about parenting? This is great advice for child-rearing-and it's great advice to follow in your marriage as well. In any human relationship there will be disagreement and conflict. The key here is to decide which issues are worth pursuing and which are better off ignored. By doing this, you'll find much less negative energy between you. From now on, anytime you feel annoyed, take a minute to examine the issue at hand, and ask yourself a few questions. "How important is this?" "Is this worth picking a fight over?" "What would be the benefit of choosing this battle versus letting it go?"
6. The 60 second cuddle You can often identify a newly married couple just by how much they touch each other - holding hands, sitting close, touching arms, kissing - just as you can spot an "oldly-married" couple by how little they touch. Mothers, in particular, often have less need for physical contact with their partners because their babies and young children provide so much opportunity for touch and cuddling that day's end finds them "touched fulfilled". So here's a simple reminder: make the effort to touch your spouse more often. A pat, a hug, a kiss, a shoulder massage - the good feeling it produces for both of you far outweighs the effort.
7. Spend more time talking to and listening to your partner Get into the habit of sharing your thoughts about what you read in the paper, what you watch on TV, your hopes, your dreams, your concerns. Take a special interest in those things that your spouse is interested in and ask questions. And then listen to the answers.
8. Spend time with your spouse It can be very difficult for your marriage to thrive if you spend all your time being "Mummy" and "Daddy". You need to spend regular time as "Husband" and "Wife". This doesn't mean you have to take a two-week vacation in Hawaii. (Although that might be nice, too!) Just take small daily snippets of time when you can enjoy uninterrupted conversation, or even just quiet companionship, without a baby on your hip, a child tugging your shirtsleeve or a teenager begging for the car keys. A daily morning walk around the block or a shared cup of tea after all the children are in bed might work wonders to re-connect you to each other. And yes, it's quite fine to talk about your children when you're spending your time together, because, after all, your children are one of the most important connections you have in your relationship.
...Make Time for Myself?
Even if it's just for 15 minutes you should take time out every single dayfor "me time". This could be anything from popping to the newsagents to get your favouite magazine to relaxing in the bath. Leave your children with a trusted friend or relative and enjoy a Latte or listen to your IPod while you shop. Its very important to take short, practical breaks everyday...... that's the only way you'll survive motherhood.
(In response to the Community Comment Question): Geting advice on fitting a car seat...
Bromley Council's Road Safety Unit offers free advice on car seats and fitting for babies through to children. Whether you already have a car seat ready to be fitted or want to check that yours is fitted correctly you can call the team on 020 8313 4498 to make an appointment. Even if you don't yet have a car seat and wanted to try out a range of options before deciding which type of seat to buy, the team will provide unbiased advice and offer a variety of seats to try in your car to check which are compatible. Four out of five child seats are not fitted correctly or are incompatible, so would not protect a child properly in a crash.
Do you have a question for "How Do I...?" Write your question in the Community Comment box below and we'll do the rest...
What do you think?
You will need to sign in to post a comment to this article. if you do not have an AboutMyArea account, you can join now for free.
Posts: 4