Editor's Blog - Wednesday, 13th August
| Author: Ken The Editor | Published: 13th August 2008 14:12 |
I have had yet more stuff in for the September Gaz, including almost three pages on what Bromley is planning to do with our rubbish collections - that will definitely have to wait for the October edition. Please, please, please don't send me any more - it's full to bursting already! It's going to be an interesting few days between now and Sunday trying to cram it all in. (By the way, if you are reading this Chris, I have left room for your Public Transport piece - so don't panic, but please don't write War & Peace!)
Paul the painter has just about finished painting the outside of Short's Mansions - I think he would have finished yesterday if it hadn't been for the crap weather during the last couple of weeks. I know that I have said it before, but could somebody please explain how this so-called ‘Global Warming' is causing well below average temperatures, gale force winds and torrential rain in the middle of August? It feels more like October out there at the moment!
Paul and I have been having a race to see who can paint the fastest - he has been painting the whole of the outside of the bungalow (including the garage) and I have been painting the garden bench. I won - I finished the bench on Monday. But then I did cheat by doing a bit of work on it at the weekend!
Isn't it great that the Russians and the Georgians are having a bit of a scrap? A tad one-sided though! The timing couldn't have been better - it has pushed the sodding Olympics well down the running order on the TV news. About the only time the Olympics make the headlines are when we win a gold medal (and let's face it, that's not too often!) or when the synchronized divers cock it all up and come last and then get the hump with each other - what fun! Did we enter the synchronised swimming this time? I must have missed that wonderful sporting spectacle!
And what about those Scottish lasses who sling blocks of stone down an ice-rink whilst their mates sweep the ice like buggery? It's a sort of bowls on ice, but more entertaining. I quite enjoyed watching that last time - perhaps that will be on next week.
Talking of the Olympics, I see that we didn't even bother to enter the football - saves the humiliation of not being able to score enough penalties in the inevitable shoot-out, I guess! Or is this yet another football competition where we didn't even get through the qualifying rounds?
Back to the war... Apparently it was started by some bloke from Georgia called Fag Ash Willie. Wasn't he a 60's Country & Western singer, or am I getting confused with Box Car Willie? I always thought that sounded like some sort of dodgy infection: "Can you give me some ointment please doctor, I think I've picked up a dose of Box Car Willie!" For those of you too young to remember the 60's, here's a picture of good ol' Box Car...
Sorry, I digress. Anyway, old Fag Ash invaded South Austria and Prime Minster Put It In (who used to be President Put It In, but seems to have got demoted somewhere along the way) got the hump because Russia wanted to have control over that area - I think it's all to do with who gets the royalties from the stage version of The Sound Of Music. [All together now: "The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire..."]
Fag Ash is being supported by George Bush - poor old soul got a tad confused and thought that because he's called George then Fag Ash and his oppos from Georgia are long-lost cousins! And I saw on the news last night that President Tea Cozy of France is now trying to mediate - all he needs to do is take his drop-dead gorgeous missus Carla (you know, the one who used to be a nude model) along with him and they all stop fighting to have a good old letch at her! It's all too complicated for my tiny old brain!
For the lads, here's a reminder of what Carla looks like (or used to!)...
A couple of updates from the previous blog: Firstly, my finger (the one that I sliced the end off with the electric carving knife) is healing nicely - thank you for asking. And I had an e-mail from my old mate Ian who helpfully suggested that I try the ‘inside-out' method of putting on a duvet cover: "turn the cover inside out (it's even better if you iron it this way) and then hold the cover by the two closed ends and grab the top corners of the quilt, then just drop the quilt cover over the top, easy!" Apparently, it works for Ian and his missus (whatever!) - perhaps they could pop round each week and do ours!
Regular readers will remember that I set aside a bit at the bottom of the lawn (the bit where the cable on the electric mower won't reach!) to grow wild - Phil ‘Gardens' Webb reckoned that the wild flowers would attract all manner of butterflies and bees. Well, after several months here is the resulting ‘wild garden'...
Impressive, isn't it? Do you see the preponderance of wild flowers? There are just two, and they're growing right on top of each other...
One's a yellow jobby that looks a bit like Ragwort to me (but I'm probably wrong!) and the other is a pathetic little white daisy-like flower - I wonder how many butterflies and bees they are going to sustain between them! Also note the leaves from the sycamore tree scattered all over the grass - see, I told you it is more like October out there!
I've not attempted any difficult cookery after last week's disaster with the Cherry and Almond Cake. Morrisons have been flogging beef burgers for 50p - yes, 50p for four quarter-pounders - so I stocked up and we are currently living off those. Burger and chips, burger and mash, burger and new potatoes - tonight I'm going to do spaghetti burgernaise! Does anyone have a recipe for curried burgers?
Toodle pip.
What do you think?
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