|Published: 19th February 2009 15:08|
What is anger?
We have all felt anger, whether it is fleeting annoyance, or outright rage.
It is a normal, usually healthy human reaction.
But when anger gets out of control, it can be destructive.
Just like other emotions, it is accompanied by physical changes, like increased heart rate, raised blood pressure and a rise in adrenalin levels.
The goal of anger management is to learn to control your own reactions, and to reduce overwhelming emotion you cannot get rid of, or always avoid people/things that anger you.
But you can learn to control
Control anger before it controls you!
Expressing anger is a natural response, but we cannot lash out. Laws, social norms and common sense place limits on our anger.
Try to express your anger in an assertive manner. Assertion does not mean being pushy or demanding, but being respectful of yourself and others.
Suppressing anger does not mean ignoring it, or pushing it down to fester, but converting or redirecting it. Use your anger positively. It's amazing how much DIY or housework can be achieved using anger inspired adrenalin!
Hold your head up, breathe deeply and don't let them / it win.
Take steps to ease your bodily reactions, such as:
Tapes, imagery, non strenuous yoga type exercise
- Deep breathing
Close your eyes and count the seconds for your in breath, and then for your out breath.
Repeat a calming phrase that works for you, eg: "relax, relax", or "steady girl/boy, let it go"
- Thought restructuring
Don't catastrophise, eg: "This xxx always goes wrong"
- Use logic. Logic beats anger. The world is not out to get you
- Become a problem solver
Make a plan to ease your problem
- Better communication
Talk quietly and explain your anger, don't jump to conclusions, and allow yourself to listen to others.
- Change your environment
Avoid the traffic, take a different route, get out, remove yourself from the situation. Take time out to calm yourself
- Count to 10
An old chestnut, but it can still be very useful and valid
- Use humour
Non-sarcastic, silly humour can diffuse a situation - make yourself laugh
- Consider help
Talk to a professional. Consider counselling.
Thanks to Alan O'Neal of SCS Counselling Service for this article.
You can call Alan O'Neal (SCS Counselling Service) on 07591 693933.
You will be asked your name and confidential contact details.
An initial appointment can be made at this time.