First day at School
| Published: 4th September 2007 22:02 |
First day at the crèche, primary or secondary school...
Children's lives are full of first times, each one marking a new stage and a little step towards their independence.
What's the best way to help children embark upon new stages in their lives and give them space to grow at the same time? Follow our advice to help the crucial days ahead run as smoothly as possible.
The first day at the crèche shouldn't actually be your child's "real" first day since it's a good idea to take them with you when you're choosing one so they can see the place and meet the staff.
Once you've decided on a crèche, you should go there several times with your child. The majority of crèches will arrange visits. Even if your child is very young, take a tour of the building with them, explaining what they will see and do there and let them recognise the faces of those who'll be looking after them and playing with them.
About two weeks before the official first day, there will be a settling in period when you'll drop your child off at the crèche for two hours or so, then gradually increase the length of your absence.
Reassuring your child
Always explain to your child the reasons for them coming to this strange place: you're returning to work so during this time they're coming to the crèche to have fun with the other babies. Of course, your little one won't understand the literal sense of your words but they'll understand the context; they're responsive to reassuring messages you give them.
As you leave, say goodbye and assure them that you're coming back for them at the end of the day.
Leave them a scarf or an item of clothing that you've worn which has your smell on it and request that it's put in their bed with them.
On the first day, explain to them again why they're there, hug them, say goodbye and then leave straight away. A prolonged farewell will only worry them and will probably lead to tears...
Don't fret yourself - they'll be fine! Be aware of your own reactions: the chances are that the ordeal of separation will be more difficult for them than it is for you.
Preparation For Primary School
All parents worry about the day their child starts school, but it doesn't have to be a tearful occasion.
If possible, before the first day, take your child to visit the school and meet the headteacher. Stay with them and explain what different places are for: "Here's where you take your shoes off, that's where the toys are kept, here's the area where you can take a nap with the other children", etc, etc.
A few days beforehand, talk about it positively: "School is great, you'll get to have fun, do lots of interesting things...you're becoming a big boy/girl!"
Go shopping with them to buy accessories for "big kids": a pencil case, a little apron, plimsolls, etc. If they want a school bag, let them have one - even if it doesn't get used, what it represents is important!
If you can, take a day or half-day off work because it's important for your child to feel that you're close at times like this. The night before the big day, put them to bed early and explain what time they need to get up.
The big day
On the morning of the big day, accompany your child without making too much of a big deal out of it. If you wax lyrical about how great school is too much, you might end up putting them off!
Once you get there, follow the teacher's guidelines on shoes, clothing, etc. Go to the classroom with them, say goodbye, tell them you'll be back to collect them in the afternoon and leave quickly. Don't let the separation drag on: if your child is upset, it will make things worse.
Although it's diffcult to deal with, don't worry if they begin to cry. The tears soon dry once parents' backs are turned...
In the evening, let them unwind and talk, but don't bombard them with questions, even if you're dying to out how the big day has gone.
It's a good idea to make them associate their first day at school with a pleasant surprise. The German tradition is to give children a cone filled with sweets and toys to mark the big day.
Transition to junior school
For those children making the transition from an infant school to a junior school (as opposed to continuing primary school until the age of 11), their first day at junior school is similar to the first day at secondary school: now they're off to big school with the big kids.
Your child will probably be excited about going, but a bit anxious too. This is totally normal, as they're going to be with older children and they know that important lessons are in store for them.
When choosing a school bag, go for one with shoulder straps that supports their back and has enough room for lunchbox, pencil case, books, etc, but not one that's so big it's difficult to carry. Avoid fashionable bags that are badly adapted to your child's age and height.
Your first task is to reassure them that everything will be all right: learning to read is fantastic! They'll be able to read all by themselves, or even read stories to you.
Explain that they need to follow a regular routine. If they've not already developed good sleeping habits, now is the time to enforce a few rules: from now on, bedtime is at the same time every evening so that they get at least ten hours sleep every night - twelve if possible.
First day at Secondary School
Starting secondary school is a truly unique day.
The night before, go through your child's school bag with them: normally the school will have provided a list of items. It doesn't matter if they've forgotten a few things; the important point is to get them into the habit of being prepared and organised and sticking to this routine every day.
Don't bombard them with advice or tips. It's best to make comments as and when they're necessary so that they have more impact.
Your child might feel upset because their friends aren't going to the same school. Encourage them to be optimistic by focusing on all of the new friends that they're going to make.
Big changes
Don't forget that your child is still young: a huge amount of information and lots of changes will be thrust upon them in all one day and they won't be able to absorb them all. Help your child by drawing up a timetable together to stick on their bedroom wall, answer their questions and reassure them about their ability to adapt.
Remember that the same instructions will need to be repeated several times before they're fully taken on board!
When they arrive home, have your camera ready to take a picture of a memorable day!
If, after the first week, you feel that your child is worried, speak about any concerns with them and, if necessary, request a meeting with their tutor.
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