First World Problems In Abthorpe
|Author: John Riches||Published: 18th February 2019 10:01|
This piece has just appeared in ABTALK our village newsletter. Its humour shows just how vulnerable modern communications can be.This piece has just appeared in ABTALK our village newsletter. Its humour shows just how vulnerable modern communications can be.
Back in early December 2018 Abthorpe experienced an unexpected breakdown in its broadband communication with the rest of the world. Investigations proved the cause was down to a local resident, who has owned up and with humility written us this apology:
“Dear Abthorpe, My name is Hamish Berry and I live at Spring Meadow Farm in Abthorpe. My ‘daddy’ said that I needed to tell everyone what I did today. I am an eight month old black Labrador, and like most Labradors I am motivated by two things: water and food. At lunchtime my ‘mummy’ had left me on my own in the garden, but I got a bit bored. I decided I would carry on investigating daddy's watering system. During the summer I found that if I chewed the pipes, water came out. A wet Labrador is a happy Labrador, so chewing the water pipes seemed like a fun thing to do.
Disappointingly no water came out of the first pipe so I tried another one, which I’d heard was full of fibre. Fibre is food right? And food that’s good for you as well. I bit through the pipe but there was no food inside, just some sort of string. That's when mummy found me and got a bit cross. “Just wait till your father gets home!” Then she said something about not being able buy any Christmas presents. Apparently the internet had stopped working, whatever the internet is.
A bit later Uncle Peter and Uncle Eric came to the house and started fiddling with the pipe I had chewed. I didn't really understand what they were doing but I tried to help as best I could by chewing their ears when they bent down.
When daddy got home he told me I was naughty, and I wasn't going to get any pocket money AGAIN this week. I hear the ‘naughty’ word quite often. For a long time I thought it was my name and I never ever seem to get any pocket money.
I wonder what I can find to do tomorrow. Maybe it will not be naughty and maybe I will get some pocket money. I need it to buy mummy and daddy their Christmas presents. Love from Hamish “