Neston Residents See Red Over Pay Per View Proposal
Published: 1st April 2016 06:24 |
Local residents are expressing anger over Government proposals to tax the view from their homes.
New 'Window Tax'
UPDATE posted 12noon on 1.4.2016:
Thank you to everyone who joined in the fun with this year's April Fool article, both on here and our Facebook page. Regular readers will know that this is something we like to do every year and if you've not seen our previous efforts, they have all been put in one handy place for you to enjoy. Click here.
Meanwhile, AboutMyArea was not alone in Neston in trying to raise a few smiles today. The following photos were posted on our Facebook today:
From Bernard Rose, who said : "Checking through the local planning applications I found this about the designated helicopter landing area in Neston Market Square (application No. A14-1161812912/F16) The plans have been passed and work on the area is to be completed in the next three weeks. This will have serious implications for Neston Friday Market which will now have to move across the road to the Brook Street car park. The other concern will be for Neston Female Society who intended to start the Ladies Day walk from the square this year, should a helicopter come into land the ladies staffs could be a health and safety hazard, especially if any local photographer asks them to hold them up high for a photo opportunity. Due also to potential confusion and distraction to helicopter pilots, this years Christmas Lantern Parade will gather at The Malt Shovel and the procession will start from there instead. It has been made clear this is an official landing area but is no way connected or sponsored by Sainsburys although one of the first floor apartments is to be converted into a control room. Time will tell if this will be a popular facility for Neston which should bring a lot of revenue into the Town"
Then there was this one from Rob Clive, who said: "As many locals will be aware, the wrought iron lamp post that sits aloft the Bushell Fountain on Neston Cross has been absent for many months, purportedly removed for urgent repairs. However, some have speculated there may be darker reasons for it's departure.
And now, after much browbeating, emails and phone calls to Cheshire West and Chester Council, and Neston Town Council, I can confirm these suspicions. Unfortunately, the historic lamp will not be reappearing.
The Budget & Finance departments of the two councils, have jointly agreed to adopt a policy to the Bushell Memorial plinth, similar to that of London's Trafalgar Square, fourth plinth. There, a rolling programme of temporary artworks and business promotions, paid for by the respective parties, appear on a regular basis to help fill the Capital's coffers. It is hoped that similar investments in the 'Neston Plinth' will bear the same rewards. The first project, due to appear in three weeks, will be promoting 'Tinder', the online dating app. The image is an approximate idea of the finished work, as supplied to me by the advertising agency involved.
And finally, from Neston Community Youth Centre, who said: "Amazing, our gardening volunteers have just found one of these under the new compost bin. Anyone know what it is? Someone suggested it might be a welsh dragon..."
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Comments
Something else you may need to consider. I believe commercial properties will pay far more than residential in the same way as they do for other pay per view services. This cost will have to be passed on to the customers and I believe a number of parkgate pubs and cafe's are already considering a "50p per drink" surcharge for those who want to sit in the front windows or sit outside. There is no surcharge if you sit in the back of the premise however and agree not to face the front of the building.
People on the top floor of the redeveloped Mostyn House will still be subject to the tax. Can I suggest you measure this again and maybe look at 10 metres. There is a similar sized wall already in use around HMP Walton if you need some architectural input.
Surely far better to just demolish Parkgate.
After doing some more research I have found a loophole. The view has to be "real". You cannot be taxed for looking at a nice picture for example so can I suggest:
1. Get Linda or Bernard to take a panoramic photo of the Parkgate front on a sunny day.
2. Build the wall
3. Get the photo turned into a huge panoramic "picture", laminated of course, and fix this to the wall.
That way people still have the view but as its just a picture it gets around the tax. Also on rainy days the view is still sunny ! Win-Win all round.
Agreed razor wire is going too far but how about an electric net instead to catch some of those pesky mosquito's that try and fly over.
Where would that end ? Demolish Neston ? Then Willaston ? How far do we have to go before its no longer considered a view ?
Its all going to be subject to red tape .. build the wall as Andy suggests and there is no ambiguity. Paint it white in places and the Elephant Bar can host a Pink Floyd music night with a backdrop to match ! There are so many benefits people haven't even considered !
What about the foundations; after all it is a marsh? And will the birders need some kind of access a la Checkpoint Charlie?
One of the best April Fool's ever was many years ago where one of the Radio City DJ's announced live on air that due to unusually low tides and unseasonally warm weather the Mersey had dried up and the Mayor of Liverpool was going to shake hands with the Mayor of Birkenhead in the middle of the dried up river at Midday.
Unfortunately an hour later they had to retract it quickly when all local roads became gridlocked by people trying to get to the river bank to see this unusual event.
Ah well, tis nice to address the lighter side of life.
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